i was made for sunny days and for you.

because when i happen to see you in a hallway somewhere, intently talking to someone, i’m one of the select few who’ll sneak up behind you pinch your butt cheek and say” hi pogi”.

just sayin’.

life can throw one at you. okay, scratch that.
life will throw heaps at you. and by heaps i mean curve ball after curve ball after curve ball.

I’m pretty optimistic, generally speaking. I try as much as i can to look at the bright side of things even if sometimes it’s not the easiest to do. I find silver linings on the cloudiest of days, sometimes i find them sometimes i don’t. that’s just the way it is.
There are situations where optimism is put to the side but the thing is when i look back on that “side’ it’s there, ready for me to take back.

I’ve had some pretty big curve balls this past months but they never really brought me down If anything, they made me good at facing them head on. They may hit me real bad on the face but at this point i don’t have the time of day to care. I’ll sicken myself to just about every optimism i can grab hold of. With that and complete faith in god and all his plans, i’m all set.

Whenever i read about some sappy crap about laying under the stars, building forts, or staying in on friday nights. My mind’s default guy is you. You were just the kind who’d actually be into all that. It’s not something i can help nor is this a notion to get back together. It’s just an un-avoidable fact.

I could eat like a thousand of ‘em.
(uki just kidding, maybe like 2 tops haha)

I kind of wish i was packing to go back to the Philippines but noooooo.
It’s only to move to a new house. yey for my own room! :)

aaaand! yey for this day! got accepted in a part-time job and turned out my passport wasn’t lost!

It still never ceases to amaze me how the lord provides light in my darkest.

How it’s true that he never really answers your prayers exactly how you asked for them but instead, will show you other ways that will make you stronger and better than you were before.

I asked for a miracle but what he gave me was much better. He gave me possibilities and courage. He vanished doubts and replaced them with belief.

There will be days when i will lack faith and will forget, but i know it won’t be long because God lives in my heart and in me, and so he shall remain.

I really miss missing someone till my insides hurt.

That feeling of actually having that one person literally run on your mind all day. That pounding, uncontrollable churning sensation inside your heart (literally) that drives you crazy. How every text or call you get is an instant glimmer of hope that it’s from that one person and how when it’s not, a frown, an actual cartoonish frown comes up your face. Of looking forward to school days and the slim chances of running into them on hallways and of unstoppable giggles when you do. Of unsolicited smiles that you can’t stop. Of how that one person makes every sappy ballad relevant. That feeling when you like someone and you know its not just a regular, run on the mill “like”, how you would like tacos or green gummy bears.

It’s the kind that gives you hope,
that if the cards were dealt right this time, he might like you back.

So today i figured i’d link my tumblr to my facebook timeline. and so i did.
bu then i wanted to post something i really didn’t want everyone to see so i changed it back.
It’s just that iv’e had this for so long and it’s kind of like a virtual journal and that’s just too hard to plaster all over someone else’s news feed.

So today, I decided to not change out of my PJ’s or if i will, i’ll change into new ones.
So today i’m missing my family and home and my bed and my room that smells of wet wood.
So today i realized that if i were to forget a day in my life it would be the day i left for New Zealand.

So today i was in town early. Been meaning to go by the Rotorua District Library to get me self some books!!!! I could not be more excited! I’ve just really missed my leisure reading which i haven’t really been doing since i got here in NZ and started school. so now, yey!

But before i got my morning butt there, i was by the lake soaking up some Saturday sun. Ahhh mornings. With a chicken salad sandwich on one hand and hot chocolate with a shot of caramel on the other i was set. So i was there looking for my uncrowded spot when i saw him.

From a distance he was nothing out of the ordinary. But then as i walked by the path which conveniently led to him, I saw special. I caught site of him playing the guitar. and just like 99.5% of usual womenfolk, i swooned.

He was in what would have been a perfect spot for me if he hadn’t been there but hey, not gonna complain here. So as i walked passed he generously gave me a smile and the giver that i am gave him one back. And in that second or two that i swear could not have gone faster, i caught a glimpse. Enough to last me a week’s worth of day dreaming perched atop windowsills.

He was cute. He definitely was. But not the GAP catalog kind of cute. The sort of boy with guitar on hand who enjoys solitary mornings just as much as i did kind of cute. He looked like the kind you could make googly-eyes with and not get tired of. He looked liked he would be into chicken salad sandwiches and hot chocolate with a shot of caramel.

But the fastest 2 seconds passed and my feet had to keep on walking and so it did. I found my spot which was far from his, and that was that.

There’s no boy coming up to a girl situation on this story. Just a girl, who saw a boy and found her spot, drank her hot choco, spilled some on her shirt and awkwardly had to get a palmful of lake water in attempt to take some of the stain out but to no avail.